All These Things That I've Done
by lamaitresse
Summary: Post High Fidelity. It's been almost a year since graduation, and Alex and Paige have not seen or talked to each other since that summer. Alex POV.
1. Chapter I

Title: All These Things That I've Done

Chapter: 1?

Author: LaMaitresse

Fandom: Degrassi: The Next Generation

Pairings: Alex/Paige, with hints at Marco/Dylan

Rating: T

Spoilers: Season 5

Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with the Degrassi franchise. Nor do I own the song whose title I filched for this story.

Author's Note: This is the first fanfic I have written in years and is the first I have ever written for D: TNG. Comments, suggestions, feedback, and constructive criticism are all GREATLY appreciated. :) And now, on with the story….

I was chatting on MSN at the time, when _It_ arrived. _It_ being "The Email From Paige." At first I think my heart stopped beating. Then it started pounding so hard I could feel it in my chest, my throat, and my ears. I hadn't seen or heard from Paige Michalchuk in what had to have been a year, and I still wasn't sure how I felt about her or the rift that time and distance had placed between us.

I've done a hell of a lot of stupid things in my life; more than I care to think of. Dumping Paige in the middle of the mall is probably Number One on that ever-increasing list.

I don't think I was ever supposed to know that Paige rebounded with her ex-boyfriend mere hours after I had broken up with her, and it was a few weeks after the fact when I eventually, and accidentally, found out.

Paige and I were trying to retain our friendship; we kind of didn't have a choice, because we still worked together at the movie theatre and needed to be civil enough to each other to get the job done. Things seemed to be going really well though, and secretly I wanted to get back with her. That is, until that fateful night at the end of July, when Marco, Dylan, Paige, and I were having coffee together at The Dot.

Dylan had gone to pay the bill and Paige was taking a quick trip to the bathroom before the four of us continued on to our next destination: The Other Team. Marco threw his trademarked mischievous grin my way.

"So," he smiled, "things seem to be going well with you and Paige. Thinking of hooking back up with her?"

I blushed. Which is something I rarely do, but the mention of the name 'Paige' seems to always have that effect on me.

"I knew it!" Marco exclaimed. Then he leant forward and lowered his voice a little. "So you're okay with what happened then?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, just a little bit confused. "_I'm_ the one who broke up with Paige in the middle of the mall, Marco, not the other way around—"

"No, no," Marco interrupted me, "I mean with what happened between Paige and Spin."

"Paige and Spin? They broke up ages ago. Why is anything that happened between them even an issue?"

"Oh…" Marco trailed off and started to turn pale.

"Marco, is there something you're not telling me?" I asked with a hint of suspicion in my voice. He was taking too long to answer me. "_Is there something going on between Spinner and Paige?_"

Marco just stared at me. If I didn't know any better I'd think he was feeling sorry for me.

"Answer me, Marco! ANSWER ME!" I demanded, my voice rising and cracking with emotion.

"Okay, okay, Alex. Just relax." Marco replied in his calming voice. "After you left her, Paige came here to The Dot and ran into Spinner. He'd just left Darcy, so his emotions were running kinda high—"

"Just get out with it, Marco. What are you trying to say?" I interrupted. I was on the verge of tears. I already knew what he was saying; I just needed to hear it.

"Alex, they slept together," he said softly, without looking me in the eyes.

My stomach leapt up into my throat. I wasn't sure whether to scream, cry, vomit, or run. I started to get out of my chair right at the moment Paige returned from the washroom.

"Ready to go, Lexi?" she smiled brightly at me and held her arm out for me to take.

I stared at her incredulously. Marco looked to me, then Paige, then back to me again.

"What's going on—" Paige began, but I cut her off.

"Actually, Paige, I'm feeling kind of sick. I'm going to go home."

And with that, I turned on my heel and ran non-stop all the way home.


	2. Chapter II

**Title: **All These Things That I've Done  
**Author:** lamaitresse  
**Part:** 2/?  
**Fandom:** Degrassi: The Next Generation  
**Characters:** Alex, Jay  
**Pairings:** Alex/Jay  
**Summary: **A distraught Alex turns to an unlikely source for comfort, and gets more than she bargained for.  
**Author's Note:** It's been over a year since I wrote the first chapter for this story. I'm not sure why I didn't go any further, but I think I'm back on track. This was started long before season six began, so it's only canon to the end of season 5. I haven't decided if I'll include anything from S6 in this fic, but I'm leaning more towards no at this point.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing associated with the Degrassi franchise  
**Rating:** T – for coarse language

* * *

**All These Things That I've Done  
Chapter II**

So you remember that list I was telling you about? That list of all the stupid shit I've done in my life? Oh, don't worry, dumping Paige is still the Number One Most Stupid Thing I've Ever Done. What I'm about to tell you is what probably classifies as "Number Two" on the "Lexi's Stupid Mistakes" list.

When I finally got home, I couldn't breathe properly. The combination of running and crying will do that to you. The door was locked, so I had to dig through my pockets to find my keychain. When I finally retrieved it, my hands were trembling too hard for me insert the key into the lock. I swore loudly when I dropped it and began pounding on the door, hoping to wake up my mom or Chad. I really didn't give a shit if they'd be angry or not.

I shouldn't have been surprised to see Jay open the door instead. He'd been spending a lot of time at my place lately, mostly for "guys nights" with Chad. It typically got on my nerves, but on this night I almost felt... relieved?

"Woah, Lex," he said, somewhat taken aback by my disheveled and hysterical appearance. If I didn't know him better I'd have thought he was genuinely concerned. And in retrospect, maybe he was. The stink of stale beer and pot on his breath did nothing to convince me at that moment in time.

I pushed my way past him and headed straight to my bedroom. I sat on the edge of my bed, trying to get my breath back and pull myself together. I was angry at Paige for having this effect on me but angrier at myself for letting her.

There was a tap at my door. The bolt was not installed properly, and thanks to years of it being forced open by unwelcome men (a story for another day), it rarely caught in the latch anymore. The tap was enough to cause the door to swing open, revealing a sheepish Jay holding two open bottles of Alexander Keith's, He raised his eyebrows, requesting my permission to come in. I looked up at him, met his gaze, and finally nodded.

"You look like you need this," he offered as he sat beside me.

"Thanks," I rasped, accepting the bottle and immediately drowning my sorrows in it. Unfortunately, it appeared these particular sorrows were wearing lifejackets, and it didn't take long for fresh tears to start stinging my cheeks.

"Hey, hey, what's going on?" Jay asked, gingerly placing his arm around my shoulders.

By this time I'm emotionally exhausted and some part of me is craving comfort in whatever form I can get it. I sighed, which felt more like a shudder, and began to tell him the events of my shitty night.

I know how hard it is for Jay to hear me talk about Paige. After I came out to him and laid down the law he backed off a little, but I could tell he still wanted me back. I guess, in a way, I was kind of flattered. After Paige and I had split up in May, he'd done his best to be there for me, strictly as a friend. I could tell how hard it was for him and his efforts had not gone unappreciated.

It was now late August. It seemed like things had come back around full circle and I was back to crying on Jay's shoulder.

"Did you know?" I asked him hoarsely. "Did Spin say anything to you?"

Jay nodded reluctantly, obviously fearing my wrath. "But Lexi, I seriously thought you knew. Everyone did."

I swallowed back a bitter laugh, tears prickling at my eyes for the umpteenth time that night. I chugged the last of my beer, now warm and sour, and then looked Jay in the eyes. "How could I have been so fucking naïve, so fucking stupid?"

Jay shrugged, never breaking eye-contact. "We all do stupid shit sometimes."

I don't know how it started or how it ended. I don't know who was responsible for it or why it even happened. But when I woke up the next morning with Jay's sleeping deadweight on top of me, all I could think about was the last thing Jay said to me before everything truly did go to shit.


End file.
